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Last night, my son Jordan came into my room and said, “Mom, let me tell you what happened to me today! I was at Walmart, getting ready to leave, when my car battery died. So, I went back into the store and bought some jumper cables… There was a man in a white truck parked … Read more

What do doctors think when patients come in with a self-diagnosis? I went to my doctors for 8 months, I told him I had cancer and he rolled his eyes. I gave him all the symptoms and he disregarded me. He asked a lot of questions but I could answer them all. I’d lost loads … Read more

Sean Connery is a very private person. Even though playing James Bond made him famous and wealthy, he has held a grudge against the Bond franchise, the Broccoli and Saltzman families, and anything related to the role for over 50 years. He doesn’t like to talk about it much. Connery hasn’t made many comments about … Read more

“Tonight, after 2.5 years of living here, my oldest son sat down at the table with this. He was about to chow down when I stopped him and asked what in the world he was doing. He said, ‘I made myself dinner.’ ‘But it isn’t cooked. I can cook that, you know.’ ‘Well, I wanted … Read more

I hope we get a “Hi”, it’s my birthday 🥳

Six years in the gym taught me some brutal truths about fitness: 1. Eat all the damn fruits you want.- It’s almost impossible to overeat it. 2. Sugar does not make you fat. 3. If you’re not horny, you’re not healthy. 4. Most people eat due to B.T.S. (boredom, thirst, or stress) – not hunger. … Read more

A 63-year-old woman visited the emergency room, where she was attended to by a young, inexperienced doctor. After approximately three minutes in the examination room, the doctor informed her that she was pregnant. In a state of shock, she exited the room and sprinted down the corridor, screaming. An older physician intervened, inquiring about her … Read more

The richest man in China said: “If you put bananas and money in front of monkeys, the monkeys will choose bananas because they don’t know that money can buy a lot of bananas. In fact, if you offer people work and business, they will choose work because most people don’t know that a business can … Read more

The little shits right here: For those who don’t know (lucky bastards), these little pieces of evil are called “goatheads.” They’re predominantly in the Southwestern United States, and they’re nature’s answer to the pain of stepping on LEGOs. Here, let’s make a list of why these things are evil incarnate: That’s typical. EDIT: Man, after reading … Read more

I was about eleven when my grandmother told me this story. One day, after school, I walked to my grandparents’ house. We lived on a farm at the time, and the school was about a mile away, right through town to their house. I was usually a happy kid, so when I walked in feeling … Read more